Why do all my mutant powers SUCK!?

When I was a little boy, I used to watch X-men on saturday mornings! (Let's not lie, I still watch it if I come across it playing on TV)  Well if you don't know what X-men are (because you live under a rock on some other planet or something) I will explain briefley so that this blog post makes sense. 

X-men is a series of comics created by Stan Lee the founder of Marvel Comics.  There have been several spin-offs from the comic series, including, but not limited to; movies, cartoons, books, action figures, stickers, etc.  While each take their own spin on things, they all stay true to this governing idea:

Through the process of evolution a number of humans throughout the world have genetic mutations which allow them to pocess superhuman abilities!  These abilities can be as extreme as flying, or as subtle as x-ray vision. 

Well let me just tell you, I definately am a Mutant! However, instead of getting a good power like telekenesis (moving things with your mind) or controling the weather, I got stuck with all the crappy ones!  No, I know what you're thinking- "I'm just complaining" but I will prove it!

MUTANT ABILITY #1: Extra Vertabrae

I recently discovered this wonderful power while at the chiropractor's office.  Do you know why I discovered it?  Because my back has been in constant pain for two solid weeks and I had to get x-ray's.  Most people have 5 lumbar and I have 6 and an extra disc too I think- which has the potential to cause me a whole lot of back pain in the future if I don't take care of it.  WOW! That was useful! lol!

MUTANT ABILITY #2: Monkey Arms

I know, I know! It's true I do have monkey arms.  Your wingspan (fingertip to fingertip when your arms are outstretched) is suppossed to equal your height.  Well my wingspan is 6', yet my height is only 5'9" (5'10" on a good day) lol.  And trust me, every tailor or person measuring me for clothing has told how long my arms are.  In fact the guy measuring me for my 8th grade promotion suit told me I had "unusually long, ape-like arms!" Thanks jerk! lol!  I mean my super long arms might be useful, if they were massive and ripped and could launch me around, but alas, they are not.  So while I look like a monkey, there will be no swinging from tree to tree with these bad boys!


But the last mutant ablility takes the cake! It is by far the worst!

MUTANT ABILITY #3: An Uncanny Resistance to Anti-Hystamines Due to an Uncanny Ammount of Mast Cells in my body!

Two days ago I went to the tanning booth (Yes I tan, get over it!) I was in a hurry and couldn't find my lotion so I asked Andrea if I could borrow hers.  She told me it was in her room and to just grab it.  She neglected to tell me that there were two different kinds in her room; the normal kind I use and this other one that caused her to have a bad reaction.  Can you guess which one I grabbed? 11 minutes felt like HELL! I thought I had a flesh-eating disease or something.  My skin was on fire, bright red, and felt like it was being stabbed by thousands of little needles.  Come to find out it has something in it called "tingler" which the lady told me I couldn't wash off for 6 to 8 hours or it would get worse.  Well let me just tell you it sent me into a full-blown alergic attack! I drove home as fast as I could and took 2 Benadryl and tried not to move!

When I woke up yesterday morning, It didn't hurt anymore, however, there was still a rash on my arms and legs and I didn't feel that well.  This morning, when I woke up the rash itched a little.  After my shower I put some lotion on it, thinking it was just dry skin.  Well on my way into work, my SUPER Mast Cells decided to release their Hystamines! I have never been in pain like this before! My arms and legs got itchier and itchier and would not stop burning.  I pulled off the freeway, went to the CVS and bought Benadryl Gel and Benadryl Cream, and Claritin.  I ran back to my car where I generously lathered first the gel all over my legs and arms! Then I took the pill. I brief moment of comfort insued and I thought it would be okay to continue my journey to work.  No sooner had I gotten on the freeway again that the intense burning and itching returned with a vengance.  I grabbed the cream (which is supposed to be used for like bug-bites not like lotion...lol) and I squirted the tube out all over my arms and legs and attempted to lather them while driving.  The pain was so extreme I can't even explain it! I pulled off at the next exit and called my dad.  My mom had to come get me because I couldn't move.  I then took another Benadryl! Between the topical creams and pills, I have taken enough Anti-Hystamines to knock an Elephant unconcious for a year- but do you think it has even made me drowsy!? Nope! No relief! It has lessened the intensity of the itching and burning (which I really am greatful for) but it has not taken it away! It gets worse-this could last two to three more days! I might go insane by then!!!

So while you all are out having fun this weekend, say a quick little prayer for your friend here who can only lay here and try not to scream! (Oh and I have screamed today out in pain and frustration- Chinese water torcher's got nothing on this!) LOL!

Why couldn't I have just been born with Telekenisis?! :(

I Have a Ribbon!

I know, I know- you're probably all thinking, "yeah right, it's April Fool's Day!" But I promise it's just bad timing on my part! LOL! I'm usually really into April Fool's but for some reason this year I'm not!

So the other day I was kind of pressured into signing up for a 12 sessions with a personal trainer at my gym.  I initially wanted to do it, but I decided that I'm not ready for that just right now.  I just enjoy going whenever I want without having the stress of trying to schedule appointments in my busy week.  But nonetheless, I signed up.  I told Donna (the trainer) about a condition I've had since childhood called Systemic Mastocytosis (It's a mouthful- I know).  Basically I wanted her to be aware that while I'm not forbidden to working out my stomach muscles, I can't over-do it, otherwise I might go into anaphylaxis shock, which isn't super fun! LOL!

Well the day came for our first appointment and I was supposed to meet her at 6:00pm.  It is next to impossible for me to leave work and get home by 6:00pm but I was trying! Of course, I was late like 20 minutes, traffic was bad, I was stressed, and I realized even more that I just wanted my money back because I really didn't want to do this! So I walk in and explain myself and ask for the money back.  Well she is very accomodating and keeps asking me please not to stress over this, it was completely fine, and that I should just relax and she would take care of everything.  There was even a sense of urgency in her voice.

So the next day she comes up to me as I'm walking on the treadmill and says that she had looked up my condition online and had been doing a little research on it.  She said that stress was a major trigger and that I should really be careful driving back and forth so far to and from work.  She chatted some more about it and offered her services as a nutritionist because she really thinks I could use some help with it.  Well I went into the locker room when I was done and googled "Systemic Mastocytosis." No wonder she gave me my money back and even seemed to be over concerned.  Reading the websites makes it sound as if I'll drop dead any second! LOL! Poor lady thought I might die right there in her office! LOL!

I was stoked to see that there is a whole lot more information on the disease (although I don't like to call it that- it makes me sound sickly! LOL!).  When I was a child they had no clue what was going on! I even have an awareness ribbon! Which I'm way stoked about! LOL! I might wear it every day now! (I know- they one for everything)!

But now you're probably wondering what the heck is SYSTEMIC MASTOCYTOSIS?

Well I've included a link to a great website that will explain it pretty thouroughly. But warning: it does kind of make it sound like I'll die any second- don't worry about me- I haven't died yet- it's not gonna happen from my condition- I promise!

Basically, my body produces too many MAST CELLS.

Mast Cells are part of the immune system.  They release chemicals like histamine- which has a lot of functions but the most common ones are like symptons of allergic reactions. 
This little video shows what happens when a Mast cell comes in contact with an allergen:



Pretty Explosive huh!? Well Mast cells are located in all connective tissue and Bone Marrow, Intestines, skin, lots of places.  Basically my Mast Cells can be triggered to respond like the one you just saw by a plethora of triggers: from heat, cold, stress, spicy food, exercise, sudden blow to the stomach, medications, and just about anything.  It can even vary from day to day.  The reason they can be triggered so easily is because they don't die when their supposed to and become unstable.  Because they don't die when they are supposed to is also another reason my body has too many! LOL!

A Mast Cell can either leak its contents slowly, or rapidly, like the exploding one above. In both cases the silly little guys seem to give me trouble.  They can cause lots symptoms, including but not limited to:

Abdominal pain

Anaphylaxis

Blood pressure changes & shock

Bone pain (mild to severe/debilitating)

Chest pain

Cognitive difficulties/brain fog

Degenerative disc disease

Diarrhea

Dizziness/vertigo/lightheadedness

Faintness

Fatigue

Flushing

Gastroesophageal reflux

Hematological abnormalities

Hives & other rashes

Inflammation of the esophagus

Intestinal cramping and bloating

Itching, with and without rashes

Irritable bowel

Liver, spleen and other organ involvement

Malabsorption

Migraine headaches

Muscle pain Nausea

Osteoporosis/Osteopenia

Peripheral neuropathy and paresthesias

Rapid heart rate

Vomiting

Sounds like fun right! LOL! It's one of the reasons my stomach occasionally gets in a rather loud growling mood.  It's really quite embarrassing because it always seems to happen at the quietest times. LOL! It also explains why I'm extra protective of my stomach, why I can be really sick one day and better the next, why occassionally I get migraine headaches and why I am just a little extra cautious about some of my activities!

But I was really quite suprised when I found this offical website: The Mastocytosis Society

In my entire life I've never met anyone else with Systemic Mastocytosis. I have met 1 person with a Mast Cell disease, but only a skin one.

As I explored the site a little bit I stumbled upon a blog of guy titled: living with Mastocytosis or something like that! LOL! The guy is 40 something years old and has had Systemic Mastocytosis for the past 13 years and he writes about his struggles and fears and stuff! In one post he even talks about how he was worried he might go into anaphylaxis shock (oh- no...with sarcasim) I guess I don't understand what the big deal is! That may sound insensative, but I've had Systemic Mastocytosis since birth and throughout my life I've gone into anaphylaxis shock probably 11 or 12 times! I mean it's definately not a fun experience or anything, but it's not something that's at the forefront of my mind ALL the time! It all seems a little silly to me! But hey- I have a ribbon now and that's what counts! LOL!

And I guess it's a little cool to know that there are others out there like me- even if they do sound a little exaggerated! LOL!

In case you don't know what anaphylaxis shock is...watch this video...




...mine doesn't swell up my air passage and cause me to stop breathing though! It does cause my head to feel like it's about to explode- probably swelling- and then have extreme hypotension (low blood pressure) and pass out.


And here's a little more scientific picture of a Mast Cell and it's role in the Immune System- It's way too complicated for me though! But I thought, maybe you're a science person and would like it!