Lauryn Hill said, "We can't plan life. All we can do is be available for it."
If that's the case how come sometimes I feel like the only time I end up doing something fun is if I plan it? Lol. I think I make myself pretty available. When I looked up available in the dictionary, one of the definitions was not busy- well that pretty much sums up most of my nights-lol! Today is a perfect example- got home from work, went to the gym, was home by 7:45. Well it's 9:00 now and I'm once again sitting in the spa-by myself! Hello people- not busy!
So I'm sitting by myself in the spa and thinking- where are my friends? It can be very disparaging! I mean they come around and have fun when I invite them, but how come I rarely get a phone call saying, "hey let's go do this, or let's go do that"? I mean it gets me to wonder if I'm more of a pest than a friend! Lol.
I think the problem lies in assuming! My family has an open door policy, and there are always people coming in and out of the house. I think it tends to make people think I must be busy doing something! Also I'm a pretty friendly guy for the most part, so another decieving thought could be I'm probably with another friend! And dont get me wrong, sometimes, I do enjoy being alone, which might make people think I'm a little intimidating- if invited to do something I'll say no. But these assumptions are often far from the truth! Lol! Sure people come over all the time, but that doesn't mean my favorite thing to do is sit on the couch and watch tv everynight! Lol. Yes, I have a lot of friends- but they have other friends too and they don't always hang out with me. And sorry if I'm intimidating. If I really am in need of alone time I would graciously decline the offer to do something- but that doesn't mean I will every time!
What people miss about me is that I love being spontaneous! For those of you who don't do big words it means unplanned randomness! Lol. I mean it's great to get the birthday invitation 3 weeks in advance and all, but If you want to know what would make me so stoked I'd probably buy you a present, call me up at 9:30 on a weeknight and say hey can you come with me to walmart, or let's go to the movies, or let's go get ice cream! It's not what I'm invited to do, it's the fact that I AM invited! It makes me feel good, like I'm wanted!
Now I know you're thinking I'm just complaining about my life again- but I promise I'm not! I don't think this is something that's unique to me. In fact I bet there are multiple people who really aren't busy right now and would love to do something, but instead they're sitting at home and feeling alone, unwanted, and unloved!
The problem with our generation is that we've forgotten the importance of the invitation. My grandparents, for example, almost always need to be invited before they'll join in an event. It used to drive me crazy! I mean, I would think, you know you're welcome, we want you here, just come, why do I need to ask you to come!? I think that's typical of our generation- if you want to do something just go, you don't need to be invited! We don't think about others enough. We go places and assume if they wanted to be with us they would have come and if not, they must be busy doing something else! It's a loss of ettiqiette that is detrimental to the fabric of friendship. An invitation says I care enough to think about you! It says, I love you and want you to be around me! It builds self-esteem, trust, and confidence!
Now, I'm not saying that next time you go to the mall take hand engraved invitations to the friends you're going with- that's a little over the top! I'm just saying, next time you do go out to do something, think about whose missing- call them up and ask them to go! Or even better- be spontaneous! Call up a friend at a random time and ask them to do something with you- if they can't, try another one! I guarentee there's someone out there who could really use an invite!
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