After a long day it's nice to go "Home"

“There exists a righteous unity between the temple and the home. Understanding the eternal nature of the temple will draw you to your family; understanding the eternal nature of the family will draw you to the temple. President Howard W. Hunter stated, ‘In the ordinances of the temple, the foundations of the eternal family are sealed in place’ (Howard W. Hunter, “A Temple-Motivated People,” Liahona, May 1995, 4; Ensign, Feb. 1995, 2).”

Gary E. Stevenson, “Sacred Homes, Sacred Temples,” Ensign, May 2009, 102
Topics: Temple



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“It takes a village….”

You might have heard the quote, "It takes a village to raise a child." Well, today, I was reminded just how true that quote is! I had the opportunity to attend a church service in which my "little brother," Derek Hales, spoke about the experiences he had while serving his mission in Baltimore. Surrounded by many of the same people in my own personal support group, I couldn't help but think about the experiences I had surrounding the departure for and return from my own mission several years ago.

Most missionaries carry a small photo album around with them containing pictures of their family, a few friends, and maybe even a girlfriend. Being cut off from the people you love most for two years can be difficult, but having a small reminder that you have people back home who love you and who are praying for your safety and success is often just the thing you need to refocus, and make it through. I think I was a bit unique because my photo album was quite large and consisted of pictures not only of my immediate family, but also of my extended spiritual family!

My best-friend, Josh, and I had a discussion once about all of the people my family knew, but more specifically loved and cherished as relatives. He was amazed that we could have so many intimate connections which extended generations—close friends of my grandparents and their children, as well as close friends of my parents, and their children. I thought about it and realized that the gospel truly does bring families together. I'm not talking merely about our families here on earth; I'm talking about our heavenly family.

I think that I am a pretty lucky kid to have these intimate connections at every stage in my life, but perhaps one of the most crucial times for me was throughout high school and prior to my mission. Elder L. Tom Perry said, "The friends we choose to associate with are main contributing factors in the formation of our character." Adolescence is a time of confusion and self-exploration and my peers, though loving and concerned, in hindsight did not always offer the best advice. However, the love and support I felt from two families that my parents had befriended provided the safety net I needed to avoid serious spiritual peril in a time where my testimony was wavering. I thank Heavenly Father often for my fun, kind, and friendly parents for having the insight to make lasting friends that could provide me with the necessary "village" I needed to be properly raised.

One of the families in my village was the Johnson's. I can remember the Johnson family being involved in my life from the moment my family moved to Murrieta. Craig was in the bishopric and over the scouting program. I remember when boys were rowdy or obnoxious, they would have to step into "Brother Johnson's office", which consisted of doing push-ups in the hallway! LOL! I remember him teaching me how to toilet paper someone's house properly—shredded paper and all. I remember he was the first one to let me drive a car. I remember how we would play Mariokart on Nintendo 64 and he would imitate all of the different character's voices. I remember him talking me on the Mormon Battalion trail because I wasn't able to go when the rest of our scout troop went. But most of all I remember that he cared about ME!

Shawna, is like my mom—number two. As soon as they moved up the street from us I was over at their house 24-7! I remember she taught me that eating cookie dough would give me salmonella! LOL! (I still do it anyways!) I remember driving around the town listening to Fleetwood Mac! I remember her sitting and talking with me on several occasions and giving me advice or listening to my problems or concerns. I remember laughing and crying and confiding in her. I remember her encouraging me and even on occasion scolding me…LOL! I remember going with her to pick up Ginny—the crazy dog! LOL! I remember our families having dinners together on several occasions and she would make the Texas sheet cake! I have so many good memories, but most importantly I remember how I felt loved at that most crucial stage of my life!

The other family in my "village" was the Hales! I don't actually remember how my parents started hanging out with Brent and Laura Hales, or at what point our families seemed to be connected, but it seems like we formed an intimate connection seemingly overnight. I can remember that one day this family was only our acquaintances and then suddenly they were our eternal friends!

Brent and my Dad served in the bishopric together and I can remember how they always seemed to have fun. Brent was always happy and encouraging. At a time when I felt very self-coconscious about going to church, He never seemed to judge me, and was always happy to see me. I'm sure my parents confided in their friends about challenges that we faced, but Brent was always there to put his arm around my shoulder and extend encouragement and support. I remember that he gave me my first real job! I was a file clerk in his law office!

Laura was just like Shawna, another Mom! I think my mom got sick of hearing Laura say, "He's a good boy" about me! LOL! She never failed to make me feel welcome! She was always interested in my life and was willing to support, encourage, and guide me anytime! I remember orange rolls and chicken cordon bleu. I remember coming home from my mission and going straight from the airport to her house and a feast! LOL! I remember her kindness and gentle reminders that I needed to be an example to her kids! I remember pool parties in the summer and church parties all year round. I remember she always saw the good in me and either overlooked, or disregarded the bad.

Having these other sets of parents in my "village" also provided me with SEVERAL brothers and sisters—all younger than myself. I love them all, and while I don't get to see them that often, I can honestly say that they have each taught me lessons and I look up to them in several ways!

Aenon- Conviction! Aenon is one of the most passionate people about her convictions I have ever met. It is refreshing and at times intimidating (all I can say is Titanic…LOL). But I respect and admire her for that trait. In a world where people's opinions are so easily swayed by trends and fads, Aenon stays passionate about her convictions! Hey Red, remember Sailor Moon, Pokemon, and Dragon Ball Z!? Emma- Strength! I think Emma is a strong, beautiful, caring person. She always had a strong will and a mind of her own. I'm pretty sure we even got into arguments—which looking back is a little pathetic because she is 5 years younger than me—but Emma always held her own! LOL! She is strong not only in will, but also in testimony! Emma always seemed to love the gospel and have a desire to choose the right. I admired that! Remember playing Princess and the slave and cleaning up my room?! Andrea is still scarred! LOL!

Eden- Pure Love! Eden loved everyone! She was the sweetest and most caring little girl. She was gentle, wouldn't hurt a fly. She was almost always happy, and she was often content to be in her own little world! She was super smart and was always on the computer, but she would climb in your lap and give you a hug every time she saw you! LOL! I was happy today to see that she still has that same gentle nature and kindness that she had as a little girl.

Hunter- Happiness! I really should say he taught me patience, because I swear he destroyed his diaper every time I was left in charge! Like throw him in the bathtub kind of destroyed! LOL! Not to mention him yelling about a certain body part being big while I was trying to pass the sacrament! LOL! But Huntino was always a happy boy! He loved to play—he was my little buddy! Today, he still looked like that happy little boy that would follow me around, except for now he's way taller than me! LOL!

Danebaby- Peacefulness! I didn't get to spend much time with Danebaby, but I remember looking into his eyes as a newborn baby and feeling peace! They were a gray-blue and full of light! I won't forget how he made me feel even though he probably won't remember me at all!

Derrick- Faithfulness! Observing the transformation of Derrick has been a testimony building experience for me. His confidence level has grown tremendously. His love for others is more readily expressed. He looks happy and grateful for the people in his life. He seems focused and firm in his faith. It is a testament that remaining faithful has the potential for each of us to become refined and perfected through Jesus Christ! I admire him and am so proud of him!

Lauren- Individual worth! I still think of Lauren as a beehive and little girl! Perhaps it is one of the reason's she reminds me of a young women's value! LOL! I'm not even sure that Lauren completely understands this principle at the moment, and yet she helps me constantly remember it every time I see her or hear about her! She's like a little sister and also in her own adolescent stage right now. I look at her and think "the worth of souls is great" because we are ALL God's family! It makes me happy when she's around and having fun with our big extended family. I know she loves my family and I hope she always remembers that we love her!

Ashley- Gentleness! Ashley is quite and gentle. She is concerned, reflective and contemplative! The missionary handbook is always talking about "quiet dignity" and Ashley epitomizes that! She is caring, but not overbearing. She is sweet and happy! Sometimes I see Ashley and I realize maybe I need to talk less and care more!

Alec- Friendship! Boy is the bomb! Months might go by without us seeing each other, but he is always excited to see me. Today when I walked up to the house from my car he was standing with a group of little boys his age and he immediately left them when he saw me, ran up and gave me hug and then returned to play with his friends. He's a true friend! He is always excited to tell me what's going on in his life and he makes me feel special!

MaeMae- Sharing! Megan was born on my 18^th birthday! I think she's the first person I think about every birthday since then! She is full of life and energy and spunk! And I am happy and honored to share a birthday with her!

President Gordon B. Hinckley said, "Let us all recognize that each of us is a son or daughter of our Father in Heaven, who loves all of His children." With the knowledge that we are children of God, our friendships have the potential to become more than earthly relationships, but intimate familial experiences that can last throughout the eternities. I have had the privilege throughout my life thus far of being able to recognize, love, and respect some of my heavenly relatives. It's interesting to me, that in Arabic, the word "relative" also has the same root and is a variation of the word "near" or "close".

On dictionary.com one definition for the word "close" is "marked by similarity in degree, action, feeling, etc." another, "intimate or confidential; dear" and my favorite, "based on a strong uniting feeling of respect, honor, or love!" While I love my immediate family with all of my heart, the funny thing about love, is that there is always room for more! On occasions like today, it feels more like a family reunion than a gathering of friends. I get to see members of my "heavenly family" that I once associated with on a daily basis and embrace them and reaffirm my love for them! What a privilege and an honor it is for me to have such wonderful people to consider family!

Baby I swear it's...Deja...Vu!

Have you ever had déjà vu? You know where you think that something has happened before. Well this time, I don’t think I had déjà vu, I know it.

My family went to our friend Gerald Allen’s missionary setting apart. When we arrived I noticed that the scene was strangely familiar to my own setting apart almost four years ago—I know I’m old! We walked in the door and the Hales were there, their son Derek is on his mission in Baltimore, Maryland, and I was in Hawaii when he got set apart, but I have a feeling that it would have been strangely familiar as well. The Allen’s had prepared food, and my mother was helping set up the table. In walked my old young men’s president, still helping boys go out I see, and then we all waited sat there waiting for the stake president.

When President Smith walked in, the ceremony began. He was asked to speak, and he said something that I will never forget: “I pretty much knew everyone that was going to be here today!” That’s how he began his testimony! He had déjà vu too! As he said that, I became really grateful for the wonderful people in the room.

I am very lucky to have had such a support system while I was on my mission and Derrick and Gerald are too! I am so proud of them and their decision to go on missions. They are great examples to me and they will make great missionaries.

I have gotten to see a video of Derrick while he bore his testimony and I know that he has changed so much for the better and I can’t wait for that to happen to Gerald as well!

It may not be the most, but it’s definitely a Top 10er!

According to http://www.infoplease.com/ the most populated city in the world is Bombay, India with an estimated 11,914,398 people living in it. Sao Paulo, Brazil comes in a close second with a whopping 11,016,703 residents. Next in the list are Shanghai, Moscow, and Seoul which I’m pretty sure are followed by my parents’ house on Sundays! I know what you’re thinking: “Big Mormon Family’—if that was true I might be a little more used to the densely populated home that I grew up in; alas my biological family is far below your everyday Mormon's.

http://www.fairlds.org/[1] states that the average Mormon family has four children and in my family there is only me and my sister. So to compensate for their failure to multiply and replenish the earth, my parents have taken in every stray Mormon in Murrieta.

Typical Sunday activities for a Mormon family include reading scriptures, having a quiet family dinner, taking a leisure drive, or writing a letter to a missionary all of which are interspersed with several naps throughout the day. However, like I said before, my family is anything but average. Our Sunday activities include preparing enough food to feed a small nation and facilitating a plethora of games that extend far past the spirit’s (and my father’s) bedtime.

In all of the commotion surrounding my newfound Sunday experience, I manage to sneak away to my mother’s favorite corner, the computer room, where I can sit in the dark and take a much needed break from it all (if only for a minute). In the darkness, I have a second to ponder the complexities of my family dynamics. My mother, who hates crowds transforms into the ultimate hostess to feed the masses each Sunday. My father, who prior to the sudden population increase, seldom kept his church clothes on long enough to get through the front door, now sits in them and plays the role of the benevolent priesthood leader. My sister, ever longing to hangout with my friends when we were younger has replaced me in the popularity chain and reversed our roles. And as for myself, the formerly extroverted Murrieta socialite now sits in a darkened computer room at peace by himself—a routine I am most likely destined to repeat every Sunday I am home.

In all of my analysis on the over population of the Dowden home, I forgot to mention how proud I am to be a Dowden. I really do have the coolest parents because they accept everyone from Schizophrenics who like to play leapfrog to head cheerleaders who haven’t quite gotten over the glory days into their home and christen them family—which is probably what keeps attracting all these strays. Everyday is a new adventure filled with new people—tiring at times, like every Sunday afternoon, but just as exciting as the other most populated cities in the world. My house may not be the most populated city in the world, but it’s definitely a Top 10er!


[1] http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2002_Dealing_with_Demographics.html